Wednesday, December 30, 2009

"We can rebuild her — we have the technology..."

The one thing I hate about making New Year's resolutions is the part where you actually have to start doing things in order to make a difference. If only life were more simple! Some may call that being lazy (I know if my parents read this they would think that) but, I am always just real bad at picking things that I would like to change about my life/ environment. I have a bad reputation on second guessing myself and making some bad decisions (nothing life threatening, but things that I would have most defiantly done another way). I guess the only way to make an effective list is to thing realistically and rationally. Here is what I have so far. Some of the items on my list have actually been on previous lists before which I (obviously) have not completed. I consider this a 'work in progress; of sorts. I know that some of these things will change as the year actually gets started in the next 25 hours or so.

Ahem. The list. In all its glory**

  1. Get accepted to Sac State: This goal I know is somewhat out of my hand. When I went to meet with a counselor back in September, I was 10 units short of the 60 that I need in order to transfer to a CSU or a UC. I took some time talking things over with Paul and worked out a schedule for the 2010 Spring semester to get those last 10 units. I applied in the middle of November and submitted my information (and the no-refundable $55 application fee) to the college and will (hopefully, cross your fingers) will hear back from the college by the beginning of March 2010. This is the big goal for me. My entire happiness and the course of my future is possibly riding on this one decision. I just hope the college says yes.

  2. Get a new job: I almost think that this should be the bigger priority then getting in to CSUS, but speaking since if I was still working at the chiropractic office by the time I got accepted to CSUS, I would have quit so I can fully concentrate on pursuing my BA and live off a student loan for a while. I do need a job. I am going crazy spending so much time at home. I think the last time I spent this much time at home was right after I had graduated from high school almost 10 years ago. Thankfully it has only been 1 month and I have found some temp work to help with the bills since stupid unemployment still hasn't kicked in for me (and Paul has been super supportive too). All I want is a part time job right now. I only have some much money in my saving account that I can live off. I worked so hard to save up that $3000 and now I feel like that hard work was all for nothing and I have nothing to show for it. Ugh. I gotta keep sending out those resumes and hope that something comes through.

  3. Loose weight: Cliched, yeah. I know that. I admit, I was never a skinny person in my life. I was blessed with a love for food and a big butt c/o my wonderful parents. Perhaps if I can manage to get under the 200lb mark, the weight will just slide right off. And its not like I have a long way to go... I have been stuck at 204ish (give or take) for the past 4 years. I blame my love of food for this one. But I have put up the treadmill in the garage and the bike is in the "den" so I have no excuse. I just need to get my ass in gear. End of story.

  4. Go on a trip with Paul: I tell you, loosing your job kinda shattered my future goals and dreams. I have actually planned (mentally, but I did plan it) to take Paul to Anaheim, CA (near both of our home towns) in July for the MLB All Star Game at Angels Stadium. The second I heard about where the All Star Game was going to be at in 2010, I knew that's where we were going. I am determined to make this a reality still. I just need to find the funds. The main cost will be lodging, gas to drive down there and the tickets to the events that we end up going to. I think the farthest distance we have been to is San Francisco (Paul took me there for the weekend on our 3rd anniversary and also to see the King Tut exhibit at the de Young Museum) or to Placerville to his Uncle Larry's cabin. We need to get out there while we are still young.

  5. Build up the savings account (again): See #2. That or I need to sell more things online.

  6. Be more confident: I need to learn that my life is going to be mine for many years to come. I should learn to love what I have. The more I love my body, the more I know it will reflect out and good things will happen. Its that karma thing. Maybe if I lost a few pounds, this one will become a reality. Plus it will make me happier in the long run.

  7. Cook at least one meal by myself each week: I am so grateful that Paul is in my life. He loves to cook. I don't know how to. I blame myself for not learning how to. I even took a culinary class in high school too. He makes dinner all the time for us. He says that he doesn't mind and that he really loves to cook but I feel like I need to contribute to this relationship and take a load off his hands sometimes. Plus I know that this will give me some more confidence and I will know how to fend for myself if Paul is gone (cause I can only have so much fast food).

  8. Read more books: I have so many books in my room and also in the master bedroom. I have lots of art books that I need to get to and also a lot of other books that I have bought on a whim and never had the chance to read. I think my brain will definitely benefit from the exercise. I am actually getting some momentum on this one; I have been reading one of many books by Chuck Klosterman.

Lets see how long I can last with this list.

(**In no particular order, mind you)

Tuesday, December 29, 2009

The death of v1.0 & the resurection of v2.0...

The new year is almost upon us. Enter the sound of relief. The whole idea of entering a new year, let alone a new decade makes me both happy & sad. Don't get me wrong, I love the concept of a new start & the new adventures that the year brings but I feel like I have wasted yet another year with random bull shit. But life is like that some times, something I have learned this year. It's like the theme song to 'The Facts of Life': You take the good, you take the bad, you take them both & there you have the facts of life, the facts of life. A life with no mistakes is not a way to live. I wish I believed that sometimes.

So here I am. 26 years old. 2 weeks & 2 days technically speaking. I have always felt that mentally I am older then the age I really am, but sometimes I still enjoy being a kid at heart. Anyways, what do I have to show for being 26? Not that much if you ask me. I got fired recently from my job of 4 years, I am in my last semester at a community college waiting anxiously to hear back from California State University, Sacramento on their decision to study there and obtain my Bachelors degree in Art History & I am currently working a temp job since no one is really hiring for jobs at the moment. I do have a family who loves me very much & also a wonderful boyfriend who I have had the honor to share the last 3.5 years with (& our two precious cats who make me remember that every little thing is going to be alright).

I am just so scared right now. I feel like since my douche bag of an ex-boss fired me, my life has been alter drastically. My depression has come back worse then ever & I have the feeling of hopelessness at times. I know I have to keep on going with my life. I have to tell myself that what happened was done for a reason. If I didn't get fired, I would probably be working there for many years & never seek anything more for myself. Even though I don't believe in any religion (yes, I am agnostic), I know that this event was some sort of divine intervention. Someone up there knows that I am better then being yelled at & bullied around by a boss who takes their employee for granted. I know that my Grandma & Grandpa are up in some sort of heaven place making sure that I am well taken care of. I know it sounds silly, but I think that they are protecting me. They both want me to be as successful as they know I can be. They want me to be happy & enjoy all that this adventure called life has to offer to me.

So as I, yet again wipe the tears from my eyes, I know that karma will have her revenge for what has happened to me. Those parties involved will get what is coming to them, whether it be tomorrow or years from now & karma will reward me with what she sees fit for being the best person I know I am & can be. This is my life. The success that I have in life will be because of the work, effort & patients that I have given.

I am glad that the year & decade is now almost over. I will graduate college, become a curator at a museum, marry that special guy & start a family... & it will happen someday. I feel like the old Amanda is leaving & staying in the past so that a new & improved Amanda (version 2.0) can emerge. Only 2 more days till that idea becomes a reality.

Sunday, December 27, 2009

I will be back soon.


Sunday, December 13, 2009

Spring 2010...

Here are the classes for Spring 2010...

ANTH 330 - Magic, Witchcraft, and Religion:
ARC. Tuesdays & Thursdays 6pm to 910pm. 03/16/2010 - 05/13/2010.
This course is a cross-cultural study of the forms and functions of supernatural beliefs and associated rituals in traditional societies of Africa, Asia, aboriginal Australia, Oceania, South America, Native North America and elsewhere. Attention is also given to world religions. Emphasis is on understanding the role of beliefs and rituals within their given social contexts, as well as on a broader comparison to derive insight into the general functions of beliefs and rituals in human life.

ARTH 333 - Introduction to Islamic Art:
Online. 01/16/10 to 05/19/10.
This course studies the art and culture of Islam. It primarily focuses on Islamic art and architecture and provides fundamental information on the formation of Islamic art, its history and philosophy. It identifies works of art produced by artists from Muslim countries and regions. This course includes but is not limited to visual examples from Arabic, Persian and Indian cultures. Field trips may be required.

ASTR 300 - Introduction to Astronomy:
ARC. Mondays. 6pm to 910pm. 01/16/2010 - 05/19/2010.
This course covers modern astronomical theories, utilizing history, observations, reading, and discussion. It also includes changing conceptions of the cosmos, the planets, the universe of stars and galaxies, and cosmic evolution.

ASTR 400 - Astronomy Laboratory:
SCC. Wednesdays 730pm to 10:35pm. 01/16/2010 - 05/19/2010.
his course covers astronomical observation with the eye, telescopes, Charged Coupled Device (CCD) cameras, and spectrometers. The analysis and interpretation of astronomical data is emphasized. Students enrolled in this class will have the opportunity to attend astronomy related off-campus activities, such as star parties.

BUS 320 - Concepts in Personal Finance:
Online. 01/16/10 to 05/19/10
This course is designed to assist individuals to analyze their financial affairs for lifelong decision making. Elements and conceptual basis of financial planning and the analysis and decision making in areas of budgeting, taxes, borrowing, money management, insurance, investments, and retirement will be examined.

13 units. Fun.

Happy Birthday!


I have been 26 for 1 hour and 16 minutes...


Thursday, December 10, 2009


Something funny... C/O Its Always Sunny in Philadelphia.
The Dennis System - A Comprehensive Approach to Seduction:

• D - Demonstrate value
• E - Engage physically
• N - Nurturing dependance
• N - Neglect emotionally
• I - Inspire hope
• S -Separate entirely

The Mac System: A comprehensive Approach to Seduction:

• M- Move in
• A- After
• C- Completion

Oh, boys.

Saturday, December 05, 2009


Life is good. Not a whole lot going on today. Thinking of things to occupy my time with.

Wednesday, December 02, 2009

Suck it, old job!!!

I am jobless (aka: I was fired!) but I couldn't ask for anything more in the world. I am glad to not be working in a place where I was truly unhappy.

Thank you world! This is the best thing to happen to me!

Monday, November 16, 2009



I lost my house keys somewhere in the greater Sacramento area.


Tuesday, November 10, 2009


I bought 'Up' tonight. On a whim. I love having a blu ray player.

Tomorrow: Hand mixer at Kohl's!

Oh yea, I also started a new blog too.

Sunday, November 08, 2009

Manda & Aggy///

More later!


Saturday, November 07, 2009

Aaron: "vegan nacho cheese. I can't wait to try it. "

Friday, November 06, 2009

@ the cheesecake factory. Why do douche bag guys smell like they bathed in cologne? Yuck.

Wednesday, November 04, 2009

Just a random note as i drive home: the yankees suck. And they are as overrated as the red sox. Fuck new york and fuck the yankees! That is all.

Tuesday, November 03, 2009


And it's now almost time for bed. Ugh. I need the sleep! One of these days, I will have to do a more formal post of the new happenings in the crappiful life of me!

But before I go (my headache is killing me), Michael Buble was on Letterman (I hate his show tho) and I just realized that he is sooo effin' gorgeous! Hot damn. This is all. That will make sleeping better now!

Dear Paul...

Stop reading my blog! I get nervous when you read it out loud to me when I am sitting next to you on the couch!


Sunday, November 01, 2009

I'm living in cloud cuckoo land///

I am still amazed by how fast this month has gone by. It was barley the beginning of the month not too long ago! Soon, Halloween will be here... Then, that same weekend, my youngest brother will be 20 years old... Dad will be 50 the week after that... Thanksgiving is around the corner... Then my 26th birthday two weeks after that... The end of the Fall 2009 semester and then Christmas. How the days have gone by. Before I know it, I will be heading to a University for my first day of college (again).

I toured the UC Davis campus last a few weekends ago with Paul. I think that I am leaning towards Davis vs. Sac State. I don't know what will happen in the future but I think that this is the best place for me. I still need to apply and then the ball is in the colleges courts. I got a B in my US History class. I am so excited. All I need now is to pass the math class I am now taking and I should be all set for transferring!

I know more stuff has been happening in my world. I am just too tired to remember it all at the moment. Bear with me. Life is gonna get interesting soon.

Saturday, October 31, 2009

Tonight we only had 10 kids come to trick or treat @ our house. More candy for me!

Friday, October 16, 2009

Oh my goodness. I am so angry. I feel like making a huge change sooner then i was expecting. More later. Baseball is on tonight. Go halos!

Sunday, October 11, 2009

Winner, winner... Chicken dinner!!!

Fuck yeah!!!

The Angels beat the Red Sox and are advancing to the ALCS. They play either the Twins or the Yankees. I am soooo happy!

Thursday, October 08, 2009

Rally monkey time!

I am blogging my inter-webs. I write this while sitting on the couch watching the end of the Angels and Red Sox game (which, the Angels won... Yes, thank you very much.) I am very excited about the post season. I mean, I am usually excited when ever the Angels play. I am just more excited because the season is winding down and coming to an end. The bad thing is that, yet again, the Angles have the privilege (and I use that term loosely) of playing the Boston Red Sox in the American League Division Series. I believe they have played them the last 4 times and the Angels have lost to them the last 4 times. They won the first game tonight. I am very happy for them and I hope that they can keep up the momentum and when the next 2 games and move on to the division championship. The next game is set for tomorrow. Me, Paul, a pizza and some drinks while watching the game. The perfect night to me.
I hate it when:
  • the Boston Red Sox play. They are the most over rated baseball team in the American League. I think I am more angry that they keep beating the Angels. I hope that this is the year that the Angels show the Sox who is the best team in the league. I am hoping that Ellsbury, Ortiz, Youkils, Bay, Pedrioa all choke... I think they are all over rated anyways. Am I being an elitist? Perhaps. But Boston and their fans are a bunch of a-hole-douche-bags.

Don't leave me high... Don't leave me dry///

I got to thinking...

I need to pass this class. I want to transfer to Sac State so bad. If I have to wait another year, would that be so bad? I wish I knew what the world had in store for me. This is driving me nuts. I am going to give it my all. I have a paper due next week. I am going to work my ass off. I promise.

Tuesday, October 06, 2009

I'm cracking eggs of wisdom!///

I tell you, I simply can not wait for the weekend. I have so many things to do and I feel like I will not have enough time to accomplish them. I have a paper due next week that I totally forgot about. The problem is, I need this class in order to transfer to Sac State. I wish I hadn't goofed off this long in school. I could have been there years ago! Other then that, life is pretty good. My right wrist has been hurting me today. I had the Doctor take an x-ray of it and it looks alright... He rubbed it this morning and it hurt so bad. I am now going to need an arm brace because I apparently have wrist tendonitis. Joy!

I hate it when:

  • people who have only been to a place once talk about that place like they are an expert in it. For example, people who have only been to a foreign country one time and when they talk to other people about it, the come off like an expert in everything about that place. Drives me nuts.
  • deadlines come up faster then expected. I have to read a book and write a 6 page paper on it by Tuesday. I think I can do it. I just need to be optimistic about it and work hard. Wish me luck on that.

Sunday, October 04, 2009

I never statutory raped anyone before///

And like that, my weekend is over. Sometimes, I wish I could be out of work forever. I don't know how fulfilled my life would be but it sounds nice every now and then. The one good thing about this week is the good Doctor is going to be out of the office for most of Friday. We are spending the day packing for the big move come November. I don't know how that is going to happen. There are lots of things that I honestly don't want to think about.

I did the tour @ Sac State on Saturday. The bus ride there was quite enjoyable. 30 minutes and the whole thing was free! I think that I might end up there after all. I looked at the info of UC Davis and I have apparently missed the deadline for applying to UC Davis. There is a Preview Day @ Davis coming up in 2 weeks. I signed up for that one. I talked to Paul about school and we came up to some ideas. I only need 10 more units to transfer to Sac State for Fall 2010. I need those units by the end of Spring 2010. My ultimate goal would be to get my BA @ Sac State and then go to UC Davis to get my Masters in Art History. A pipe dream? Maybe. But I think it can happen.

I hate it when:

  • I have to watch someone bomb a public speaking gig. At the Preview Day @ Sac State, they had speakers talk about different important topics like admissions, financial aide and housing on campus. The one guy who did the on campus housing bombed big time. He seemed like he was totally unprepared. He was stuttering, stammering and pausing for long periods of time thought the presentation. I felt so embarrassed for the guy that I wish I could have hugged him or something. I left the question and answer part early. I just couldn't handle it any more. After the whole thing, I kept hearing people talk about how painful the whole thing was. I am glad I was not the only one.
  • people wear Coach shoes. I think they are the ugliest shoes in the world. Like I need to know that you have money for those shitty ass things! One of the ladies who was doing the campus tour had those shoes. I am glad that this person choose to keep it real at school.
  • I have to watch Norte Dame football fans. I think that the players are douche bags, the fans are douche bags and they are just so fucking overrated. They are almost as bad as Raiders fans. And Raiders fans are pretty bad... I know that for a fact.
Time for bed. Tomorrow is payday. Life will be good again.

Friday, October 02, 2009

That gypsy son of a bitch burned us///

I am soooo happy that it is finally Friday. The week is finally coming to an end. I suppose it will be ending in a few more hours but who is counting? I am excited for Monday (I normally wouldn't but Monday is payday and I am so beyond broke, its not even funny). Tomorrow, I wake early for a day of excitement. I am heading out to Sac State for Preview Day. If all goes well, I will be entering the college for Fall 2010 semester. I am real excited about the future now. I know deep down that Grandma would be proud of me that I am following my dreams and will be (someday) making them a reality. Since I am broke, I will be riding the bus (I haven't taken public transportation too much here in Sacramento besides the Light Rail) and its perfect because there is a bus stop up the street from where I live and it takes me right to Sac State!!!

Tomorrow, Paul has a big test. Its the CBEST. He wants to become a teacher someday and has to take this test as the first step towards that goal. I am so proud of him. I hope he does well on the test. I know how much this whole thing means to him.

And now, since I mentioned all the good things going on, here is more to add to my list of things that I hate...

I hate when:

  • people talk loud in an office waiting room. Here at my work, there are a few patients who are like that. I am not sure if they really don't know how loud they really are (I am that way according to Paul) or if these people are just obnoxious and think they are THAT important. I had a doctors appointment yesterday morning and there were a few people who were doing this. Drove me nuts. I almost wish that I had brought my mp3 player to listen to... since I ended up waiting about an hour to see my stupid doctor! Which brings me to...
  • I had to wait for my doctor for almost an hour! I know it would have been longer if I didn't walk up to the stupid receptionist and complain about the wait. I had a 1030am appointment and didn't get in till about 1130ish. I had even shown up a little early (like by 10 minutes). I almost walked out and just said "fuck it" but I was already there. Then, they keep me there at the office for almost 2 hours doing test and crap on me... I didn't even get to do my pap smear/ gyno check up that I was supposed to be scheduled for. Part of me wants to find a new doctor but I have been with this practice since I was a teenager. Good news to this story: I do feel justified now... I stole a fake hand from the room I was doing my check up in. Its pretty cool too. Its clear and there is a skeleton inside (fake, mind you) and I put my "prize" on the mantle in the house as an inside joke.

I am feeling optimistic about life. I know things will get better. It has to be, right? Oh, when I get paid, I am SO pre-ordering the new Ratchet & Clank game. This fact will be the one thing that will get me thru most of the month! Only 25 more days to go!

Tuesday, September 29, 2009

Hate is a strong word... But I really, really, really don't like you///

Song of the Day:: Plain White T's> Hate (I Really Don't Like You)

Ah. Another day. The only good thing about today besides having the morning free to do filing and busy paper work here at the office. Yes, it is a Tuesday. The weather is finally looking like fall time and not like summer anymore. Tonight is also American History class. I will admit, I don't think I am doing well. The nightly reading kills me. Each chapter that we have to read as homework is about 30 pages long. Don't get me started on the daily quizzes either (I never remember the important things that end up being on the stupid quizzes). If I manage to pull a 'C' out of this class, life will be good. I only have 3 more weeks in this class. I think I can do it. One more test and one more paper.

And now, the things I hate.

I hate when:

  • People don't tell me important things that I need to know... Then they get all snippy when I try to call them out on it. I try my hardest to write notes down as the information comes, send emails about important events or issues (I think I send Paul a few messages a day just to touch base with him) but I feel like the common courtesy isn't being bestowed to me. This, in turn, drives me nuts.
  • People who make driving seem like a game. Now, I am one to talk. I have done this a few times especially while driving home from San Francisco. You know, the 'California Road Block'? I just hate it when the same car tries to pass me up on the freeway over and over again... Last night, it was a fucking Prius. God-Damn hippie vehicle!

Any who. This is all for now. I have a feeling like more will be coming up. I never seem to have a good day anymore.

Monday, September 28, 2009

If you have hate in your heart, let it out...

For some reason, things have been bothering me more and more as the days go by... I have even caught myself jotting down little notes as these things happen in my day. I figured I would share them... Mostly for my own memory and to track how truly full of hate is inside of me... Here we go...

I hate when:

  • people try to remember things about me and when they ask me, its completely wrong info. Example: People asking me "You're birthday is coming up, right?" Um, no. It's 3 months away but thanks for making an ass of yourself.
  • people ask how my weekend is when I know they could give a shit. Please don't ask me this stupid question just to make idle chit-chat. If I did do something that I want you to know about, trust me, I would tell someone. (I went to the Zoo on Saturday and baked cupcakes while watching football on Sunday, happy?!)

So far, this is all. Trust me, I will be putting up more things when I can. If you only knew the people I come into contact with on a daily basis, you would go crazy too.

PS: Happy Yom Kippur! I am attempting to fast today. Paul said that I didn't have to but I am showing my support. Wish me luck!

Thursday, September 17, 2009

keep calm...

Dear Lord,

I think I am about to loose it today.
Keep calm and carry on...


Wish me luck.

Wednesday, September 09, 2009

I think my art teacher doesn't shave her armpits. Damn hippies.

Thursday, August 27, 2009

I am still alive...

Tuesday, July 28, 2009

... And why couldn't you tell me this to my face...

Things I hate:

Is it possible to get or be mad at someone for doing something that another person didn't tell them to do? If I was told to do something, I would have done it. If it wasn't done, then I was probably not told. *sigh*

Only one more year at community college... One more year. Next year, things are going to be different.

Friday, July 24, 2009

A lot of drama going down here. Ugh. Stupid hotel!!!!!

On our way to san francisco. Stopping at panera for a snack.

Tuesday, July 21, 2009

Friday, I'm in love!!!

From Paul...

Another reason why I love him so much.

Date: Tue, 21 Jul 2009 15:21:44 -0700
Subject: OK


I wanted to figure out if the plans would work before I told you what we were gonna do.

On Friday we will leave Sacramento to go to San Francisco. We will arrive to check in at our hotel at 3pm and once there will pick up our VIP tickets to see Tutankhamen at the de Young. After seeing the exhibit and exploring the de Young, we can then go to either the Legion of Honor or the California Academy of Sciences at Golden Gate Park. We will then head back to our hotel to relax for a bit before heading out to a nice dinner.

Saturday is more open-ended, with you having the option of whatever you want to do in SF. From MOMA, to the Asian Art Museum, to the Contemporary Jewish Museum, to Fisherman's Wharf, or a nice drive along the coast.

Hopefully this sounds like a fun weekend, but if you would rather stay home watching movies with the cats, we can do that.Let me know.....Love ya!

Monday, July 20, 2009

I am in math class and 2 people are talking about pokemon. I am now more stupid for listening to them.

Saturday, July 18, 2009

At the angels game with paul. Angels are winning 2 to 0. Make that 3 to 0 now. I screamed so loud that it pissed off an a's fan.

Saturday, July 11, 2009

Half time at the roller derby. Having a good time.

Out watching the sacred city derby girls in roseville.

Friday, July 10, 2009

I can tell you have the best intentions; one of those simple inventions... Now that I have your attntion///

Song of the Day: Reggie and The Full Effect> Congratulations Smack and Katy

Tonight: Happy Hour with Mom and Dad.
Should be interesting. One drink for me... For good measure.

Monday, July 06, 2009

Don't get me wrong because I'm happy to be anything but still///

Song of the Day: Oh My> Mellowdrone

Why I love wikipedia....

I looked up one thing and then like 10 minutes later, I was linked to something completely off topic:

-Lost Highway (Was listening to a song from this movies soundtrack)
-David Lynch (Made that movie)
-Film Noir (The style of that movie)
-Jack Nance
-Richard Pryor
-Balthazar Getty (All were in that movie)
-Lord of the Flies (He was in that movie)
-William Golding (Wrote that book)
-Delphi (setting of another book Golding wrote)
-Greece (where Delphi is located)
-Larissa (ancient city in Greece)
-Peripheries of Greece (the 'Provence' Larissa is located)
-Pelasgus (all gods/ goddess/ figures in Greece)
-Sparta (city in Greece)
-Leonidas (ruled Sparta)
-Xerxes (killed Leonidas during a war/ fight)
-Agamemnon (Brother of Menelaus)
-Menelaus (ruler of Sparta/ Helen of Troys husband/ Agamemnon's brother)
-Castor & Pollux (the Gemini constellation/ brothers of Helen)
-St. Elmo's fire (weather phenomenon)
-Paris (abducted Helen)
-Priam (Paris' father)
-Aeneas (escaped the burning city of Troy with Helen)
-Troy film
-Achilles (warrior)
-Achilles Heel (the term used for weakness/ way he died)
-Thetis (goddess/ mother of Achilles)
-Julie Christie (played her in the Troy movie)
-Warren Beatty (were an item for years)
-Shirley MacLaine (his sister)
-Coco Chanel (was in a movie about her life)
-Coco avant Chanel (french movie about Coco)
-Audrey Tautou (was in the french movie about Coco)
-Amelie (her first big movie)
-Montmartre (where the movie takes place)
-Mathieu Kassovitz (was her love interest in Amelie)
-Jamel Debbouze (was also in that movie)
-Melissa Theuriau (married him in real life)
-Rufus (the guy who played Amelie's dad)
-Sophie Neveu (the character she played in the DaVinci Code)
-Alfred Molina (was also in the DaVinci Code)
-Deja Entendu (album by Brand New, 1st song off album was inspired by Tautou)
-Eclipse (Twilight book, inspired by a song off that album by Brand New)
-Benoit Poelvoorde (guy who is dating Audrey currently)
-Quentin Tarantino (got Benoit on the Cannes jury)
-Inglorious Basterds (his latest movie)
-Mexploitation (a movie style)
-Eli Roth (horror movie maker)
-Til Schweiger (in Inglorious Basterds)

Wednesday, July 01, 2009

Mobile: i had the best dream last night. It involved my high school crush. Brad. *sigh* my god. I have never had a dream that good.

Sunday, June 28, 2009

Not that its important...

I don't know if I have mentioned this before...

Last weekend, Sara (my coworker) and a few of us went to dinner and a club for her 27th birthday... It was a blast. One of the funnest times I have had in a real long time. Plus, having 8 drinks wasn't bad either.

Here is a picture... I need to start working out soon. *ugh*

Sara, Me, Nicole & Gabi (both old high school friends of Sara's)

Thursday, June 25, 2009

Dead like disco...

Things I hate:

People dying.

Yeah, I know that for the most case, people can't control when and how they die (like my Grandma for example). Unexpected deaths are not my favorite... Jetta (my dog) died suddenly earlier this month and now 3 celebrities and one person I knew died... Ed McMahon, Farrah Faucet and Michael Jackson... And a patient here at my work.

In honor of Michael, I am listening to 3 of his albums here in the office. 'Thriller' is my all time favorite tho.

Today sucks.

Oh yeah, I have a math test today too... I don't think I will do well.

Tuesday, June 23, 2009

mobile: Woo hoo. I got a 91/100 on my first math test. Now if only i can keep this streak up, i'll be in good shape.

Monday, June 22, 2009

new jersey trash store open for buisness!!!!

I listed my first item up on etsy! I am soooo proud. I hope someone buys it!

Buy something!

Sunday, June 21, 2009

Take your pictures down, shake it out///

Song of the Day: Paramore> My Hero

-Spent evening with Dad. Gave him the new headphones for Father's Day. He loved it.
-Recovered well from last nights debauchery. Legs hurt so bad tho.
-Confident in my abilities for tomorrows math test.
-Finally going to finish painting the bedroom next weekend.
-Sold another old CD on half. It feels good to be rid of that useless crap.
-Want to finish cleaning/ redecorating my craft/ spare room.

-I <3 Peaches... The singer... And also the fruit... But more so the singer.

Drink total tonight: 1 rum and coke, 1 cranberry vodka, 2 vodka shots and 4 raspberry kamakazies. Good times.

I don't know if i have drank too much. Is 8 a good number?

Saturday, June 20, 2009

I saw bobby trendy at the gay club!

Friday, June 19, 2009

You ask for understanding beauty, well that's more than I could ever give you now///

Song of the Day: Mellowdrone> Amazing

Maybe its the fact that I am tired... and slightly cranky... or maybe, I have just had it to here (holds her hand up to her forehead), but I got to thinking just now...

Can tell me who 'DOC DOC LLC' is?

I have noticed that they read my blog a lot.

My blog logs each person/ IP address that stumbles across this page... People from Finland to Mexico, Poland to Lithuania, and all over the country have read my rants and adventures. I know when I stumble on it and when my friend old acquaintance in San Francisco read it too...

I have a feeling i know who it is tho.

Correction, I know who it is.

I wonder what they think they can find by looking me up so many times... Today (6/19/09) @ 5:46pm, earlier that same day @ 4:48pm; Monday (6/15/09) @ 4:16pm and so on...

Despite the fact that one would believe I keep all my personal thoughts and secrets on my blog (which, long ago, I once did. I wrote about everything on my mind from the time I was 15 as a junior in high school till my mid 20's), I don't... So, if you feel so inclined to keep on snooping around, why don't you just man up and ask. I may come off as slow or dimwitted, but I am so much smarter and cunning then I portray. You have no idea the things I know, so stop being a brown-noser and get a life, leave this pissed off 25 year old woman alone!

Oh well, I love IP addresses... Its a dead give away to their location/ identity.

Thank you.


PS: By the way, congrats on trying to be sneaky. Try harder next time, kthxbye.

@ the mall. What a bunch of idiots. All waiting in line for a new iphone.

Wednesday, June 17, 2009

I am lucky that i know one person in my math class. An old friend from years ago. If i ever need some help, he is there. Only 30 minutes to go.

In math class. Another long night ahead of me. There are some interfstig people in here... And i don't mean in a good way.

Sunday, June 14, 2009

We can watch the world devoured in its pain///

Song of the Day:: Smashing Pumpkins> The Beginning is the End is the Beginning

I finally finished the prototype of the messenger bag I have been working on. I will test it next week to see if its good enough to sell.

Saturday, June 13, 2009


Paul got a 13" MacBook Pro last night... He got a student discount (sweet) and also a free ipod touch (for me since he has a 32g).

Now, I just need to get my HP DV4, and life will be good.

Thursday, June 11, 2009

Mobile: On my way home from work, i saw an x. I think its him. I mean, how many tall white douche bag guys live in the greater sacto area? Ugh. Oh well.

Wednesday, June 10, 2009

Whats new?

-More crocheting (like I always am doing).
-Paul started his summer classes on Monday... I start next week.
-Selling more things off
-Looking at new laptop computers (Like this one).

That's all so far. Pretty boring (probably why I didn't write about it sooner)

Friday, June 05, 2009

But my heart will still jump because to me, they look the same///

Song of the Day:: Ima Robot> Black Jettas
*When I lived with my parents, I would play this song and dance around Jetta in my bedroom.

Dad sent me a text message after I had gotten out of the shower @ 715am. He usually doesn't send many texts (unless he wants something).

Dad - Bring my shovel. I need to bury Jetta.
Manda - She died?
Dad - No Amanda, I just want to bury her... Of course she died.
Manda - When did this happen?
Dad - Last night.
Manda - I'll bring it after work. Is that okay?
Dad - Sure. She is not going anywhere.

Funny, when my Grandma died in April I found out on a Friday too. What a way to start off a weekend. Burring the dog I got when I was 13. *sigh* She lived a long life. She even out lived some of the cats that she helped raise when their mom died.

This is the only photo of here that I can find at the moment. She got real sick during Christmas time and I thought we were going to loose her then. Mom had to feed her with a eyedropper. Not long after that, she lost her vision. She had a hard time dealing with being blind. She would run into the walls, furniture and would trip in the doorway getting in and out of the house. Mom called her a "roomba" because when she was outside, she would walk in circles. She, like my Grandma, never lost her spunk. She lost quite a bit of weight in her last few months but she was always excited to see hear that Paul and I were over visiting my parents. I miss her so much. She was the best thing about growing up at my parents house. She will always be my special girl... My parents use to call us sisters (we both had long black messy hair)... I wish the people I love most in the world would stop dying.

She is sleeping with the angels now... Having a blast with my Grandma and Grandpa. She lived a great 13 years... The best 13 years ever.

RIP Jetta Ramirez
10/31/96 - 6/4/09

Wednesday, June 03, 2009

We went to target to get some things and noticed lightning before we went in. 20 minutes later we come out to pouring rain and continuous lightning in the sky. I love it!

Tuesday, June 02, 2009

painter day 3

Another night of painting the room. Worked on the trim of the room for about an hour and a half. Painted most (like 70%) of it during that time. I need to do another coat of the red on the walls too. Took a walk with Paul down the street to 7-11 to get an ice cream for all the hard work I have been doing in the room. Walked home and it started to rain. It was nice to be out on a cool "summer" day wearing short and a t-shirt, eating an ice cream when it sprinkles. I wish everyday could be like that. Dare to dream.

Time to head off to bed and read a little more of 'Breaking Dawn'

Monday, June 01, 2009


Another day of painting... Taped off the walls to paint the trim in a dark gray color. Blue tape is everywhere. Hard job but someone has to do it. I like painting the room. The colors are going to look great. Dark red with white doors and a gray blue trim and black furniture. I just wish the paint wasn't $30+ for one gallon. This is becoming an expensive project.

Sleepy time.

Sunday, May 31, 2009

Thru this new frame of mind... A thousand flowers could bloom///

Song of the Day:: Portishead> Glory Box

On the agenda today?

Breakfast at Noah's Bagels. Lox and bagel. Our favotire. And maybe a coffee. Then off the Home Depot to get a gallon of red paint ('Apple Polish' is the name) to paint the bedroom. Work on the garden. Crochet some more. BBQ something good.

Saturday, May 30, 2009

What else is in the teaches of peaches? Huh? What?

Song of the Day:: Peaches> Fuck the Pain Away

Not much happening in the world of me...

-School starts in 2 weeks...
-Saw "Up" with Paul last night...
-Crocheting more...
-Jessica's (my younger cousin) classmates in her school like the bag I made for Aunt Cathy... Might have a possible commission!
-Planted lavender in the front yard...
-Parents celebrated their 26th wedding anniversary...
-Deciding on which shade of red to paint the master bedroom...

Another boring week if you ask me.

Monday, May 25, 2009

Oh red...

We bought a new grill for the backyard.

I am in love.

Sunday, May 24, 2009

Ugh. All the tours are sold out to alcatraz. Mom just called and told me. I am in hurcules now. What luck i have.

Saturday, May 23, 2009

Tell me whats good people... Real sugar never equal///

Listening to Fannypacks "Pump That" while reading one of my old journals online.

I was once such a stupid emo kid.
Thank god I grew up and dropped that shit!

Thursday, May 21, 2009


< / start rant >

So apparently KWOD 106.5 (the local "alternative" radio station in Sacramento) decided to cease being. Which is fine since I only listen to my mp3 player when in the car and use while on the interwebs. BUT, I had over 660,000 points in their "listener loyalty program" online with the hopes of wining tickets to concerts this summer (like I usually do). WTF!!!! Seriously! I want to punch someone or something! PS: I am tired and half asleep!

< / end rant >

Wednesday, May 20, 2009

Sitting in traffic. Listening to Lil Jon on the mp3 player... Totally made my day. Skeet skeet skeet, mother fucker! I am such a dork.

Sunday, May 17, 2009

Hotter then hell today. I hate summers in Sacramento.

I got my BOG waver from school. I will get back $290 of the $297 that I paid for Summer/ Fall tuition! Suck on that!


Saturday, May 16, 2009


before I go to sleep...

We saw 'Angels & Demons' and
I loved it.

Good night.

Tuesday, May 12, 2009

I want a girl with extensions in her hair... Bamboo earrings, at least two pair///

Song of the Day: LL Cool J> Around the Way Girl

Oh my goodness. LL Cool J is the romantic poet of my generation. God bless him for such songs as 'Big Ole Butt' with such memorable lines like:

Laid her on the table and place my order
And gave her a tip much bigger than a quarter

I needed a laugh like that all day. Especially since it is finals week!

Monday, May 11, 2009

You wanna rumble in my jungle... I'll take you on///

Song of the Day: Robyn> Konichiwa Bitches
(are you sensing a theme so far?)

Dear YOU,

Everyday, I am reminded why I am the person who I am today. I am filled with anger. I know this. I acknowledge this. I am this. I wish I wasn't. I don't want to be an angry person. I like being happy. But, I don't feel happy when you (out of nowhere and for no apparent reason) decide to yell at me and belittle me. Why does this bother me so much? If I knew, I don't think I would be as angry as I am. I am pathetic for putting up with it. Maybe I do deserve it?! No, fuck that. I don't deserve that crap. You will have to understand the hard way, I suppose. It is only a matter of time. You think that I will tolerate this for much longer? Guess again. How can I respect someone who has no respect for anyone else? Soon. You will see.

-Angry Bear

Sunday, May 10, 2009


Happy Mothers Day, Mom.

(and Grandma too... I miss you so much)


Saturday, May 09, 2009

British guys playing rugby... Brooklyn boys who wanna thug me///

Song of the Day: Fannypack> Hey Mami

Hello, Saturday!

I have been waiting for you for oh so long. What will I do with you today? Perhaps crochet... Watch a baseball game or 2... Work on those stupid papers for English... Maybe I should work on my garden? Or maybe do some cleaning in my crafting room? Decisions, decisions.


Thursday, May 07, 2009

& to know me as hardly golden is to know me all wrong... They were///

Song of the Day: Band of Horses> The Funeral

I hate writing papers. Especially on poetry and novels. This is all.

Omg. The line at the kfc by work had the longest line i have seen at a fast food joint. Fuck that shit. Maybe friday.

Wednesday, May 06, 2009

Mother fountain or live or not at all///

Song of the Day: Massive Attack> Black Milk

Things I am looking forward to:

Summer and Fall classes. Here is what is on my plate for the next 2 semesters...

Summer 2009:

MATH 120 - Intermediate Algebra @ Sacramento City College. MTuWTh 615 to 845pm. 6/15/08 to 8/7/09. 5 units.
This course reviews and extends the concepts of elementary algebra, with problem solving skills emphasized throughout. Topics that are reviewed and extended include: linear and quadratic equations, factoring polynomials, rational expressions, exponents, radicals, equations of lines, and systems of equations. New topics include: graphs and their translations and reflections, functions, exponential and logarithmic functions, graphs of quadratic and polynomial functions, nonlinear systems of equations, polynomial, rational and absolute value inequalities, and an introduction to conic sections.

Fall 2009:

ART 300 - Elementary Drawing and Composition @ American River College (Natomas). MW 6 to 820pm. 8/22/09 to 12/17/09. 3 units.
This course is a studio class in drawing and composition. Lectures and discussions stress the fundamental discipline related to the visualization of concrete or abstract concepts. Practice in drawing and development of content will be emphasized.

HIST 311 - History of the United States @ Sacramento City College (Downtown). TuTh 530 to 840pm. 8/22/09 to 10/16/09. 3 units.
This course covers the development of American Institutions and society from Reconstruction to the present and partially fulfills American Institutions requirements. The course emphasizes the role played by political, economic, social, cultural, and intellectual forces on the culture and development of multiple ethnic groups in a comparative format.

MATH 300 - Introduction to Mathematical Ideas @ American River College (Natomas). TuTh 6 to 9pm. 10/17/09 to 12/11/09. 3 units.
This course focuses on elements of mathematical systems. It is designed to make fundamental concepts and processes more meaningful to the general student. Its content may include systems, logic, geometry, combinatorics, probability, statistics, sets, matrices, and number theory. Not recommended for students entering elementary school teaching or business administration majors.

Hopefully, all I will need are a few more classes and then I can work on transferring to a bigger school. Paul took me to UC Davis on Saturday to check out the campus (I was pretty familiar with it, I dated a guy who lived in Davis and we would head to the campus from time to time). I really liked it there and their Art History program looks really good. Not to mention that Wayne Thiebaud is an honorary professor there. And I also have his calender in my kitchen too (yes, I am a dork... I love having calenders of artist in the house. Paul has one of Wassily Kandinsky in the bedroom... Speaking of Kandinsky, he died on my birthday in 1944. Odd). Thiebaud is one of my favorite modern artist (Picasso is my idol) and a local Sacramento native.

I don't know if I could afford $20,000 a year on school tho. Even if it is only for 2 more years while I get my Bachelors degree. Sac State is much cheaper tho. I don't know if I really want to stay in Sacramento tho. I love it here, my family is here, Paul and I have a life here. Who knows anymore. I want to live up to my promise I made to Grandma before she died. I told her that I want to work in a museum. Its the one passion and goal I have in my life. I don't care how long it will take me. I am going to be a curator. I am sick of hearing that I cant do it or that it will be to hard to accomplish. I know I have to kick ass in school and make my dream a reality. I owe it to myself... I know Grandma would be proud of me either way.

Monday, May 04, 2009

First you gotta sign this waiver... Suck up on this lifesaver///

Song of the Day: Fannypack> Pump That

So, I finished another bag yesterday. It is actually for my Aunt Cathy who lives near Indio, Ca. When I saw her for my Grandma's funeral, she came into our hotel room and saw a bag that I had made a while back and liked it. She asked if I could make her one too and I told her that she would have to send me lots of bags in order to do it. A few weeks later, a package arrived at my house and it was about 100 different colored plastic bags that my Aunt had mailed to me. Here is what I came up with...

The whole bag.

Closer look.

Even closer.

Much closer.

The inside.

With my junk in it.

I am using it to break it in for her. She is coming thru town sometime this month. I hope she likes it.

Sunday, May 03, 2009


Ugh, I wish I had posted more this week. Life has been interesting for me the last few days. Not much to write about now. I did manage to finish the bag for my Aunt. I completed it tonight. I am rather impressed with it. I want to make more to sell. I seriously wish I had more time to devote to it. *sigh* Maybe, one day.

Monday, April 27, 2009

I wish i could talk to my grandma once more. Its the one thing i miss more than anything. I am beginning to feel more lost in the world... More so then ever.

Sunday, April 26, 2009

You see giant proclamations are all very well but our love is louder than words///

Song of the Day: Bloc Party> Sunday

Alone this weekend. Never any fun, really. I should be doing some class work for my English class. I could read the book that I need to. I should write that paper that is due on Thursday. I should do a lot of things. I just don't really feel like it.

Paul is coming back from Los Angeles later today. I have to pick him up. At 10 pm tonight. I need gas first... And I am completely broke. My last $140 went to paying my car registration. Stupid State of California!

What's been going on? Not much actually. Relaxing. Crocheting... or trying to. Cutting up bags to make somethings with. Getting old photos off my cell phone... and doing the same to my old phone. I forgot I had so many of them.

Went over to see Mom and Dad last night. Had some BBQ and watched a movie that my Dad had bought. Dad bought a drum kit the other day. Its in the garage currently. I tried it out. And I enjoyed it. It seems like something that I could actually enjoy doing (since on the guitar my fingers are a little too small for the fret board).

Just another lazy Sunday.

Tuesday, April 21, 2009

Rant #2...


Do you think that by checking my blog you are going to find some 'dirt' on me? I am getting tired of your creepy stalker-ish ways. How about find me and have an actual talk instead of snooping? Do you think I post everything up on here without thinking about who will see this? Seriously.

< / rant >

PS: I am making a bag for my Aunt in Southern California. Currently, I am making the 'plarn' to get the project off the ground.

Test test. Coming from the cell phone.

Friday, April 17, 2009


Off to see Crank with Paul!

Wednesday, April 15, 2009

Every man, & every woman needs someone... So keep it coming///

Song of the Day: New Order> Crystal

School is going along quite well. The year is almost over then starts the Summer session and then one more year in community college and I will be entering Sacramento State University as a transfer student.

Still working on my crocheting bags. I like the feeling I get when I am done with the project. I showed off my favorite bags with my family while at my Grandma's funeral and got lots of positive feed back. Aunt Cathy is sending me some bags from So. Cal. The more I make, the more I can sell. Dad said that he knows of lots of ladies at his work who would love one. Score!

And now, a picture...

I think This is my favorite photo of my brothers. I think I will print this one out and give it to them as a little gift from our bonding in So. Cal last week.

Tuesday, April 14, 2009

Rant #1...

I wish that certain people who I know very well would stop reading my blog... just so they can see if I am doing things that I shouldn't be... some people should be spending their time working! Talk about invasion of privacy (yes, this is a public blog, I know, but still).

IP numbers are amazing. They don't think that I don't know they are checking my stuff out. If only they knew.


< / rant >

Monday, April 13, 2009

In case you missed it...

I don't care how much it cost me...

I am taking Paul here next year for the All Star Game. My hometown is only 15 minutes away! It would be a nice 4 year anniversary present (The game is on July 13th 2010 and our anniversary is on July 25th.)

Sunday, April 12, 2009

how many dutty wine swing it away how many shots without a chase

Song of the Day: MIA> Boyz

Back from Los Angeles. More on that later. But, a photo or 2 till then:

Adventures on the PCH...

Driving thru the City...

Visiting Angels Stadium...

Paying my respect to Adenhart...

Thursday, April 09, 2009

Goodbye till Sunday!

Wednesday, April 08, 2009

Stupid fans...


Makes me sad to hear about things like this happening in the world especially since the team won its opening day game...

Tuesday, April 07, 2009

These things I never seem to mean... So I leave the murder scene///

Song of the Day: Editors> Distance

I managed to finish another bag. I am surprised that this one only took me about a week to make. I don't know the total time tho. An hour here before English class in the High School parking lot, while watching TV with Paul, during my lunch break...

Black and white and something else in the bathroom.

Close up of the madness.

I am a sucker for the color blue.

My daily essentials... Believe it or not that's as simple as it gets.

The approval of Miss Poppy. My gorgeous little kitten.

Road trip to see Grandma commences on Thursday morning. Should be interesting. More later.

Monday, April 06, 2009

Please love, don't be scared... It's just your own reflection///

Song of the Day: Editors> Spiders


I have now $3300 in my savings.
I am surprised that I managed to put away that much too!
Paul and I have been talking about going to France (Aix-en-Provence technically) sometime either this winter (he said that I had the worst time in Italy a few years ago, so this might not happen then) or perhaps next spring.

If we went during Christmas time, it would only cost about $1200 round trip each person. And since we have a home to stay in, no need for a hotel room!

Maybe I am thinking too much about traveling. I don't even have a passport yet.

I just want to go see Museums and all things Picasso (he is my hero!).
Before Grandma died, I wrote to her telling her about our trip someday soon. I just want to make her happy for me. *sigh*

Sunday, April 05, 2009

I'll keep your eyes wide open tonight... Keep the car on the road now///

Song of the Day: Editors> Camara

Not much going on since Grandma died...
[well, technically, there was quite a bit that happened but I will post about it later as things develop]

I went on a walk around my new neighborhood today... Enough time to clear my head about what is going on in my life.

Heading down to Los Angeles Thursday thru Sunday to be with family and for Grandma's funeral on Friday in Whittier.

I think I will use some of my bonus from work to get a new tattoo in the memory of Grandma and one for Grandpa too while I am back home.

Another day approaches.


Friday, April 03, 2009

RIP Grandma...

My Mom called me
and told me that
Grandma passed away @ 930 this morning.

What a wonderful way to
start the weekend.

I miss her so much.
More info as it comes in.


Thursday, April 02, 2009



Spring Break next week.
Thank goodness.

Time to:
-Finish other projects for class
-Crochet some more!

Wednesday, April 01, 2009

Love, love is a verb... Love is a doing word///

Song of the Day: Massive Attack> Teardrop

This song came on while I was listening to my "Muse Station"...

Now I can't get the cast of "House" out of my head.

Thanks FOX!

Tuesday, March 31, 2009

thats all.

Monday, March 30, 2009

When I was in Harvard I smoked weed everyday... I cheated every test & snorted all the yay///

Song of the Day: The Lonely Island> Natalie's Rap (ft. Natalie Portman & Chris Parnell)

Almost done with another plastic bag-bag. I just need more plastic grocery bags to make special color combinations.

Tomorrow is English class again. I need to finish writing that essay by Thursday.

Paul isn't going to Los Angeles this weekend after all.

Sunday, March 29, 2009


So, here is the photos of the plastic bag-bag that I finished on Thursday night.

The outside of the bag on the floor of my crafting room

A close up of the stitching...

An even closer view of the stitching for the yellow stripe.

The roomy inside of the bag.

The inside with my 'foolishness'

Saturday, March 28, 2009

Make your way up to the stars, It's there where you belong///

Song of the Day: Editors> You Are Fading

Another gorgeous day on St. George. I love having a big window near my computer. I can look out into the neighborhood lined with Pine, Oak & Maple trees. Its a good feeling inside. I was thinking about crocheting that new green bag while watching Slumdog Millionaire on the couch with the cats while Paul is at Sac State for his Saturday class.

I then saw this picture and I couldn't help myself from laughing. What a hobo! I think that made my day better seeing that photo.

Friday, March 27, 2009


I finished yet another bag yesterday.
I tested it out today and I think I am gonna sell it.
I don't know if anyone will buy it...
A girl has to try.

Oh yeah, I am making another one as well...

Should be interesting.

It's Friday & you ain't got shit to do...

Learning new things
with crocheting.

Hopefully, I will add this to
my extensive knowledge!

Friday + crafting & gardening + rest + no work = Manda happy

Only a few more hours to go.

Wednesday, March 25, 2009

tea time.

Off to bed
to drink my cup of
green tea...

Tomorrow is yet
another day.


Tuesday, March 24, 2009


I need to stop worrying about my Grandma. I almost cried in class tonight thinking about her. This whole thing is driving me insane. Ugh. And I am still not done with my Art paper!!!

Monday, March 23, 2009


Watching the finals of the World Baseball Classic on ESPN... I should be writing a paper for my Renaissance art class... My priorities are perfect!

Sunday, March 22, 2009

How does your garden grow...

A quick photo update:

We went to the Farmers Market on Saturday morning.

My crafting knows no bounds...

It was a good excuse to try out my crocheted plastic-bag bag to see how much weight it can withstand.

What we ended up with after 20 minutes: spinach, green onions, parsley, 8 carrots, asparagus, 5 Yukon Gold potatoes, 2 yellow onions, 1 clove of garlic and...

one basil plant to add to my garden in the back patio!

And to think that all of those things fit in to my little bag. I am finishing up another one (its white and yellow) and I am hoping to start selling them sometime soon on etsy. Wish me luck.

Here is one of the photos of my Dad from Friday night in West Sacramento. I need to brush up on my photography skills. I am the "Designated Photographer" of the band now... I don't know how I managed to get that gig?!

Saturday, March 21, 2009

Say goodbye to everyone you have ever known... You are not gonna see them ever again///

Song of the Day: Editors> Smokers Outside The Hospital Doors

We've all been changed
From what we were
Our broken parts
Left smashed off the floor

[How ironic. I have found this awesome band via Pandora and I have now come to love them. While I write this entry, this song comes on and sums up what it going on inside of me. Stupid music.]

Ugh. My Grandma isn't doing well. I can tell. And I don't like thinking like that. Today was supposed to be a great day. I wanted it to be a awesome day. And now, I am saddened beyond belief.

After last night seeing my Dad's band play, Paul and I came home and went to sleep. We woke up, watched some sports highlights from the night before, got dressed and went to the Farmers Market near the house to buy some veggies, made some corned beef and hash burritos for breakfast, watched some NCAA basketball games, watched some movies that Paul had downloaded a while ago and worked on my crocheted bags.

I got a call on my phone. I didn't answer it immediately. I just let it go to voice mail. I went to the phone minutes later and saw that my Grandma had called. I thought it was odd because she usually doesn't call me too ofter, I call her. I listened to the message and it was actually from my Aunt Rosemary who lives in Houston, Texas. She said that she was down there with Grandma and that she (my Grandma) wanted to talk to me. I figured I would call her later on, and I continued to watch the movie with Paul. Minutes later, I got a call from my Mom telling me to call my Grandma. I said okay, hung up the phone and watched the last 6 minutes of the movie.

I called my Grandma and talked to her. I could hear the pain in her voice. Last night when my Mom came over to our house, she showed me photos of when she was last down in Los Angeles to visit Grandma. She looked so frail. So fragile. She didn't look like the Grandma I have know for 25 years. She looked like someone completely different. She looked like her time was/ is coming up. I could barely look at the photos. And I could see those photos in my head as I talked to her on the phone. Every sentence I said was followed by a 10 second pause then her response. I know my Grandma knows that she is not going to last long. I know she isn't that dumb or naive. I didn't want her to think that I was thinking that too, so I asked her the usual questions that I do when I call her for a chat: How are you doing out there? Whats the weather like for you guys? How is the rest of the family doing too? I love talking to my Grandma. She loves to hear about what I am up to, how my job and school work is going, how Paul and the Kittens are, and she just likes to hear from one of her grand kids. And I love telling her everything.

I sent my Mom the following message after I talked to Grandma:

Amanda- "Grandma sounds so weak"
Mom- "I know. She is saying good bye"
Amanda- "She isn't gonna last long, is she?"
Mom- "No"

Mom said that they think she only has about a month left. I can't loose her. This sucks.

Friday, March 20, 2009


To Do*:

[edit-3.20.09 7:45pm]
[edit- 3.21.09 5:43pm]
[edit- 3.22.09 9:18pm]

  • Get angry & yell at other drivers on the freeway while attempting to go home during rush hour traffic.
  • Buy a new plunger for the bathroom.
  • Change and get ready for my Mom to come over to the house.
  • Drive to West Sacramento to see my Dad's band play.
  • See family for the first time in a month even tho they live the next town over.
  • Buy more bubble mailers to mail off my latest orders.
  • Mail said orders asap.
  • Write paper for my Renaissance art class that is due on Wednesday.
  • Work on my crocheted plastic bags to get on sometime soon.
  • Update March Madness brackets.
  • Visit Home Depot for gardening ideas and goodies.
  • Pay rent & bills (there goes my whole paycheck).
  • Clean house/ laundry/ garage.
  • Buy new computer chair or think of new idea.
  • Take crap from garage to the Goodwill.

*Not today! Over the next few days, perhaps. I am not a machine!!!

Thursday, March 19, 2009

The weekend should be here soon.

Wednesday, March 18, 2009

Bones, starved of flesh surround your aching heart full of love///

Song of the Day: Editors> Bones

In the end all you can hope for
Is the love you felt to equal the pain you've gone through
Are your eyes showing off for mine?
Your face in my hands is everything I need

What a beautiful line. I skipped school today. I bet I missed something important tonight in my Renaissance art history class. Part of me felt bad that I decided to not go but the pain I was in would not have helped me concentrate at all. I felt nauseated, dizzy and had the worst headache in a long time. I don't know what happened today between lunch and 4pm today but it was bad. Lets hope that Thursday will be much more pleasant then today. I can only imagine what I would do...

Tuesday, March 17, 2009

Ugh. Yep, ugh.

Ugh. I think that is the official word of the day.

The day is over. boutfuckingtime. A recap, since its almost time to get some sleep (unfortunately, another day is a few short hours away).

-Work was actually fine. Nothing out of the ordinary. (which is a good thing) I wish I could go outside more. Today was the most beautiful day all year. Dare to dream.

-Started my English Comp. class today. The teacher was a little dull (a typical English Prof.) but he warmed up a little more towards the end of the night. I have my first reading assignment that's due on Thursday but my 'effing book still hasn't come in from that I ordered over a week ago.

-Wished my younger brother, Matt, a happy 23rd birthday. Makes me feel old knowing that my younger brother is now 23 and my youngest one will be 20 at the end of the year. Ugh, I am such an old lady for being only 25.

-Stupid Ikea computer chair broke on me... while I was sitting in it. Grrr. I fell on the hardwood floor on my knees and hands. Now I get to waste money and buy a new one. Joy. Using one of the dining room chairs is not the most glamorous thing. My right arm hurts now. Seriously.

-Poppy, my girl cat who isn't the brightest crayon in the box, is now following the laser pointer. Beasley loves it. He chases it all over the house and now, Poppy is getting the hang of it too. I am happy. I was beginning to think that I was the owner of a ditzy cat.

-Selling more things off my account. I just want to get rid of this crap more then anything. Plus, making about $50 extra every 2 weeks is a nice thing.

-Planning on selling my crocheted plastic bags. I just need to finish them and not let my cats eat a hole in them. Good luck on that. But who would actually buy something made by me?

Sunday, March 15, 2009

People are fragile things, you should know by now///

Song of the Day: Editors> Munich

Another weekend of doing nothing... But it felt so good at the same time. Another week begins soon. The days keep going on. Tuesday starts a new class for me... Perhaps one more step into the "Great Unknown". I need to find my direction someday. Its getting closer and closer to make some life altering decisions. I know I will eventually make the right ones but for now, I am making my own path blindly.

DI Why?!

So, I bet there are a million things I can be going right now instead of bending this white wire hanger straight in order to make a hanger for my English Ivy plant... Yes. My priorities are in check today.


Saturday, March 14, 2009


Dear God,

I can't believe that I actually watched a Lifetime movie this afternoon. God, save me. Oh yeah, Sizzler is like the shit.

The end.

Wednesday, March 11, 2009

I can't wait for Friday...

I should be studding... I should be doing a lot of things. But what am I doing? Making a mixed CD of ladies names. Weak, huh? Not studding works for me tho. I got my test back from my Renaissance art class and I aced it (like usual). Suck on that, school system.

Lemon, out! Um, never mind.

I'm the man with an arm like a rocket, a cock like Burmese python & a mind like a fucking scientist///

Just something to get me thru the day...

Monday, March 09, 2009


Ugh, what an unproductive time off. Now I get to start the work week all over again. No more time off till May (lame).

Oh well.

She's scared of the blacks & she's scared of the Jews... She is walking around, she is yesterday's news///

Song of the Day: Bloc Party> She's Hearing Voices

I am off to do some oh so wonderful chores. On my list today:

-Bake 2 cheesecakes for my Art History potluck tomorrow
-Bake a carrot cake for Paul
-Clean the turtle tank
-Take some boxes back to my parents house
-Grocery shopping
-Cleaning the house up
-Water the plants outside

Wish me luck.

Sunday, March 08, 2009

In a heart full of dust lives a creature called "Lust'... It surprises & scares like me///

Song of the Day: Bjork> Isobel

Nothing new to write... We did finally break down and get a new microwave at Fry's... And I got some sweet Oxo bowls from Target... And we got those awesome churros from this cool Mexican guy and his families shop on Northgate Blvd (the best churros in the world!). Yet another uneventful Sunday.

Anyways, I thought I would post some more photos of the house. I need to take some for my Grandma too! Rats. Something to do tomorrow tho.

The dining room/ living room from the back/ side patio door...

The kitchen that is to the right of the dining room (from that same back door)...

The other side of the kitchen and "lounge room" from the hallway...

The fire place (the dining room is to the right-ish)...

The entertainment area of the living room (to the left of the fire place)...

And my crafting/ dressing room/ spare bedroom... Work in progress still.

Ugh. Time for sleep. Goodnite.

Saturday, March 07, 2009

If you spend some more time I guarantee you will find she's not me///

Song of the Day: Madonna> She's Not Me

So, instead of seeing "Watchmen" last night, we decided to watch some movies that Paul had downloaded a long time ago and haven't watched (the PS3 has a wifi connection so we can stream movies from Paul's computer in the bedroom to the living room where the PS3 is). One of those movies was called "Death Race"...

We came to this conclusion:

Death Race is a race version of the classic movie Shawshank Redemption

I like the movie. It was decent. I love action movies. And Jason Statham. The end. So unrealistic but entertaining.

Always stealing other peoples ideas.

Friday, March 06, 2009

Secret plans... Midnight missions... With emotion///

Song of the Day: Eagles of Death Metal> Secret Plans

Being artistic in the name of education

I turned these...

Into this.

Tuesday, March 03, 2009

Feeling rejection... I'll burn down your house... Tearing down posters... I was never alive///

Song of the day: Bloc Party> She's Hearing Voices

I am always the last to know anything remotly intresting and important to me!!>>!>!>! Ugh. Lameness. I had to find this out on a local radio stations website. I am the queen of winning radio station contest via their stupid online clubs... Ask Paul... We won trips to see many shows courtesey of my skills! I am sooo gonna win this shit! Booyah!!!

Bloc Party Coming to Freeborn Hall!
posted by TONY BATASKA on 2/18/09 - last edited by TONY BATASKA on 2/24/09

Bloc Party is coming to Freeborn Hall 4/21/09 @ 8pm!

UCD Students: On Sale is on Thursday, February 26 at 10am. Tickets will be $19.75 and can be purchased with CASH ONLY. UCD Students must bring their student ID and can bring one friend's UCD Student ID for a limit of two tickets per person. This discount is limited to 200 tickets.

General On Sale is Saturday, February 28 at 10am. Tickets will be $29.75. Available at the Box Office and at

This concert will be Festival Style (NO SEATS/ALL STANDING) General Admission.

Monday, March 02, 2009

Kiss me where your eye won't meet me... Meet me where your eye won't flick me///

Song of the day: Franz Ferdinand> No You Girls

Things I love...

Franz Ferdinand. I thank Paul for downloading their new album. It is so catchy and sexy. Goal for next year: Make a pilgrimage to see Coachella in 2010. I would love to go this year (I would pick day one because of Franz and We Are Scientist) and I know I can probably stay with my Aunt and Uncle who live outside of Indio. Ugh. One day. First, a trip to Europe (South of France) then more concert/ festivals.

Anyways, listening to Franz got me to remembering seeing them in concert with Death Cab for Cutie back in 2006 (before I met Paul) and how much fun I had going to a concert alone.

Sunday, March 01, 2009

Oh oh then suddenly you know... You're never going home///

Song of the day: Franz Ferdinand> Ulysses

Things I am glad for:

Being able to grow up. It makes me feel good to be able to sell all the old things that remind me of the past. I am glad that I am over those points of my life. I am older, wiser and smarter then I once was.

Speaking of, I used to do this photo comparison a long time ago in my old blog... I am gonna bring it back. I once was cute but I seem to have peaked at age 22... Maybe this is all part of growing older. Ugh.

Amanda: Believe it or not, it was once me.

March '04 - Age: 20
Location: A then boyfriends house playing with his web cam... Stupid boys who play guitar and who are in a band.

March '05 - Age: 21
Location: Parents bedroom looking into a mirror... Stupid post engagement break-up with stupid wanna-be thug rapper types.

March ' 06 - Age: 22
Location: My old car, JellyBean, parked near a park by my old job in Orangevale... Stupid cameras that take awesome pictures.

March '07 - Age: 23
Location: The old apartment in Sacramento... Stupid earrings that I loved so much and now I can't seem to find for the life of me.

March '08 - Age: 24
Location: Downtown Sacramento @ the Old City cemetery... Stupid dreams of being a big shot photographer.

March '09 - Age: 25
Location: The new house in Sacramento... Stupid happiness of being completely on my own (with Paul).

Oh well.