Wednesday, December 30, 2009

"We can rebuild her — we have the technology..."

The one thing I hate about making New Year's resolutions is the part where you actually have to start doing things in order to make a difference. If only life were more simple! Some may call that being lazy (I know if my parents read this they would think that) but, I am always just real bad at picking things that I would like to change about my life/ environment. I have a bad reputation on second guessing myself and making some bad decisions (nothing life threatening, but things that I would have most defiantly done another way). I guess the only way to make an effective list is to thing realistically and rationally. Here is what I have so far. Some of the items on my list have actually been on previous lists before which I (obviously) have not completed. I consider this a 'work in progress; of sorts. I know that some of these things will change as the year actually gets started in the next 25 hours or so.

Ahem. The list. In all its glory**

  1. Get accepted to Sac State: This goal I know is somewhat out of my hand. When I went to meet with a counselor back in September, I was 10 units short of the 60 that I need in order to transfer to a CSU or a UC. I took some time talking things over with Paul and worked out a schedule for the 2010 Spring semester to get those last 10 units. I applied in the middle of November and submitted my information (and the no-refundable $55 application fee) to the college and will (hopefully, cross your fingers) will hear back from the college by the beginning of March 2010. This is the big goal for me. My entire happiness and the course of my future is possibly riding on this one decision. I just hope the college says yes.

  2. Get a new job: I almost think that this should be the bigger priority then getting in to CSUS, but speaking since if I was still working at the chiropractic office by the time I got accepted to CSUS, I would have quit so I can fully concentrate on pursuing my BA and live off a student loan for a while. I do need a job. I am going crazy spending so much time at home. I think the last time I spent this much time at home was right after I had graduated from high school almost 10 years ago. Thankfully it has only been 1 month and I have found some temp work to help with the bills since stupid unemployment still hasn't kicked in for me (and Paul has been super supportive too). All I want is a part time job right now. I only have some much money in my saving account that I can live off. I worked so hard to save up that $3000 and now I feel like that hard work was all for nothing and I have nothing to show for it. Ugh. I gotta keep sending out those resumes and hope that something comes through.

  3. Loose weight: Cliched, yeah. I know that. I admit, I was never a skinny person in my life. I was blessed with a love for food and a big butt c/o my wonderful parents. Perhaps if I can manage to get under the 200lb mark, the weight will just slide right off. And its not like I have a long way to go... I have been stuck at 204ish (give or take) for the past 4 years. I blame my love of food for this one. But I have put up the treadmill in the garage and the bike is in the "den" so I have no excuse. I just need to get my ass in gear. End of story.

  4. Go on a trip with Paul: I tell you, loosing your job kinda shattered my future goals and dreams. I have actually planned (mentally, but I did plan it) to take Paul to Anaheim, CA (near both of our home towns) in July for the MLB All Star Game at Angels Stadium. The second I heard about where the All Star Game was going to be at in 2010, I knew that's where we were going. I am determined to make this a reality still. I just need to find the funds. The main cost will be lodging, gas to drive down there and the tickets to the events that we end up going to. I think the farthest distance we have been to is San Francisco (Paul took me there for the weekend on our 3rd anniversary and also to see the King Tut exhibit at the de Young Museum) or to Placerville to his Uncle Larry's cabin. We need to get out there while we are still young.

  5. Build up the savings account (again): See #2. That or I need to sell more things online.

  6. Be more confident: I need to learn that my life is going to be mine for many years to come. I should learn to love what I have. The more I love my body, the more I know it will reflect out and good things will happen. Its that karma thing. Maybe if I lost a few pounds, this one will become a reality. Plus it will make me happier in the long run.

  7. Cook at least one meal by myself each week: I am so grateful that Paul is in my life. He loves to cook. I don't know how to. I blame myself for not learning how to. I even took a culinary class in high school too. He makes dinner all the time for us. He says that he doesn't mind and that he really loves to cook but I feel like I need to contribute to this relationship and take a load off his hands sometimes. Plus I know that this will give me some more confidence and I will know how to fend for myself if Paul is gone (cause I can only have so much fast food).

  8. Read more books: I have so many books in my room and also in the master bedroom. I have lots of art books that I need to get to and also a lot of other books that I have bought on a whim and never had the chance to read. I think my brain will definitely benefit from the exercise. I am actually getting some momentum on this one; I have been reading one of many books by Chuck Klosterman.

Lets see how long I can last with this list.

(**In no particular order, mind you)

Tuesday, December 29, 2009

The death of v1.0 & the resurection of v2.0...

The new year is almost upon us. Enter the sound of relief. The whole idea of entering a new year, let alone a new decade makes me both happy & sad. Don't get me wrong, I love the concept of a new start & the new adventures that the year brings but I feel like I have wasted yet another year with random bull shit. But life is like that some times, something I have learned this year. It's like the theme song to 'The Facts of Life': You take the good, you take the bad, you take them both & there you have the facts of life, the facts of life. A life with no mistakes is not a way to live. I wish I believed that sometimes.

So here I am. 26 years old. 2 weeks & 2 days technically speaking. I have always felt that mentally I am older then the age I really am, but sometimes I still enjoy being a kid at heart. Anyways, what do I have to show for being 26? Not that much if you ask me. I got fired recently from my job of 4 years, I am in my last semester at a community college waiting anxiously to hear back from California State University, Sacramento on their decision to study there and obtain my Bachelors degree in Art History & I am currently working a temp job since no one is really hiring for jobs at the moment. I do have a family who loves me very much & also a wonderful boyfriend who I have had the honor to share the last 3.5 years with (& our two precious cats who make me remember that every little thing is going to be alright).

I am just so scared right now. I feel like since my douche bag of an ex-boss fired me, my life has been alter drastically. My depression has come back worse then ever & I have the feeling of hopelessness at times. I know I have to keep on going with my life. I have to tell myself that what happened was done for a reason. If I didn't get fired, I would probably be working there for many years & never seek anything more for myself. Even though I don't believe in any religion (yes, I am agnostic), I know that this event was some sort of divine intervention. Someone up there knows that I am better then being yelled at & bullied around by a boss who takes their employee for granted. I know that my Grandma & Grandpa are up in some sort of heaven place making sure that I am well taken care of. I know it sounds silly, but I think that they are protecting me. They both want me to be as successful as they know I can be. They want me to be happy & enjoy all that this adventure called life has to offer to me.

So as I, yet again wipe the tears from my eyes, I know that karma will have her revenge for what has happened to me. Those parties involved will get what is coming to them, whether it be tomorrow or years from now & karma will reward me with what she sees fit for being the best person I know I am & can be. This is my life. The success that I have in life will be because of the work, effort & patients that I have given.

I am glad that the year & decade is now almost over. I will graduate college, become a curator at a museum, marry that special guy & start a family... & it will happen someday. I feel like the old Amanda is leaving & staying in the past so that a new & improved Amanda (version 2.0) can emerge. Only 2 more days till that idea becomes a reality.

Sunday, December 27, 2009

I will be back soon.


Sunday, December 13, 2009

Spring 2010...

Here are the classes for Spring 2010...

ANTH 330 - Magic, Witchcraft, and Religion:
ARC. Tuesdays & Thursdays 6pm to 910pm. 03/16/2010 - 05/13/2010.
This course is a cross-cultural study of the forms and functions of supernatural beliefs and associated rituals in traditional societies of Africa, Asia, aboriginal Australia, Oceania, South America, Native North America and elsewhere. Attention is also given to world religions. Emphasis is on understanding the role of beliefs and rituals within their given social contexts, as well as on a broader comparison to derive insight into the general functions of beliefs and rituals in human life.

ARTH 333 - Introduction to Islamic Art:
Online. 01/16/10 to 05/19/10.
This course studies the art and culture of Islam. It primarily focuses on Islamic art and architecture and provides fundamental information on the formation of Islamic art, its history and philosophy. It identifies works of art produced by artists from Muslim countries and regions. This course includes but is not limited to visual examples from Arabic, Persian and Indian cultures. Field trips may be required.

ASTR 300 - Introduction to Astronomy:
ARC. Mondays. 6pm to 910pm. 01/16/2010 - 05/19/2010.
This course covers modern astronomical theories, utilizing history, observations, reading, and discussion. It also includes changing conceptions of the cosmos, the planets, the universe of stars and galaxies, and cosmic evolution.

ASTR 400 - Astronomy Laboratory:
SCC. Wednesdays 730pm to 10:35pm. 01/16/2010 - 05/19/2010.
his course covers astronomical observation with the eye, telescopes, Charged Coupled Device (CCD) cameras, and spectrometers. The analysis and interpretation of astronomical data is emphasized. Students enrolled in this class will have the opportunity to attend astronomy related off-campus activities, such as star parties.

BUS 320 - Concepts in Personal Finance:
Online. 01/16/10 to 05/19/10
This course is designed to assist individuals to analyze their financial affairs for lifelong decision making. Elements and conceptual basis of financial planning and the analysis and decision making in areas of budgeting, taxes, borrowing, money management, insurance, investments, and retirement will be examined.

13 units. Fun.

Happy Birthday!


I have been 26 for 1 hour and 16 minutes...


Thursday, December 10, 2009


Something funny... C/O Its Always Sunny in Philadelphia.
The Dennis System - A Comprehensive Approach to Seduction:

• D - Demonstrate value
• E - Engage physically
• N - Nurturing dependance
• N - Neglect emotionally
• I - Inspire hope
• S -Separate entirely

The Mac System: A comprehensive Approach to Seduction:

• M- Move in
• A- After
• C- Completion

Oh, boys.

Saturday, December 05, 2009


Life is good. Not a whole lot going on today. Thinking of things to occupy my time with.

Wednesday, December 02, 2009

Suck it, old job!!!

I am jobless (aka: I was fired!) but I couldn't ask for anything more in the world. I am glad to not be working in a place where I was truly unhappy.

Thank you world! This is the best thing to happen to me!