Tuesday, December 29, 2009

The death of v1.0 & the resurection of v2.0...

The new year is almost upon us. Enter the sound of relief. The whole idea of entering a new year, let alone a new decade makes me both happy & sad. Don't get me wrong, I love the concept of a new start & the new adventures that the year brings but I feel like I have wasted yet another year with random bull shit. But life is like that some times, something I have learned this year. It's like the theme song to 'The Facts of Life': You take the good, you take the bad, you take them both & there you have the facts of life, the facts of life. A life with no mistakes is not a way to live. I wish I believed that sometimes.

So here I am. 26 years old. 2 weeks & 2 days technically speaking. I have always felt that mentally I am older then the age I really am, but sometimes I still enjoy being a kid at heart. Anyways, what do I have to show for being 26? Not that much if you ask me. I got fired recently from my job of 4 years, I am in my last semester at a community college waiting anxiously to hear back from California State University, Sacramento on their decision to study there and obtain my Bachelors degree in Art History & I am currently working a temp job since no one is really hiring for jobs at the moment. I do have a family who loves me very much & also a wonderful boyfriend who I have had the honor to share the last 3.5 years with (& our two precious cats who make me remember that every little thing is going to be alright).

I am just so scared right now. I feel like since my douche bag of an ex-boss fired me, my life has been alter drastically. My depression has come back worse then ever & I have the feeling of hopelessness at times. I know I have to keep on going with my life. I have to tell myself that what happened was done for a reason. If I didn't get fired, I would probably be working there for many years & never seek anything more for myself. Even though I don't believe in any religion (yes, I am agnostic), I know that this event was some sort of divine intervention. Someone up there knows that I am better then being yelled at & bullied around by a boss who takes their employee for granted. I know that my Grandma & Grandpa are up in some sort of heaven place making sure that I am well taken care of. I know it sounds silly, but I think that they are protecting me. They both want me to be as successful as they know I can be. They want me to be happy & enjoy all that this adventure called life has to offer to me.

So as I, yet again wipe the tears from my eyes, I know that karma will have her revenge for what has happened to me. Those parties involved will get what is coming to them, whether it be tomorrow or years from now & karma will reward me with what she sees fit for being the best person I know I am & can be. This is my life. The success that I have in life will be because of the work, effort & patients that I have given.

I am glad that the year & decade is now almost over. I will graduate college, become a curator at a museum, marry that special guy & start a family... & it will happen someday. I feel like the old Amanda is leaving & staying in the past so that a new & improved Amanda (version 2.0) can emerge. Only 2 more days till that idea becomes a reality.


aintshefancy said...

I think when I lost my job it was the beginning of a long line of crap. I hope so much that it works out better for you. ~ <3