"We can rebuild her — we have the technology..."

The one thing I hate about making New Year's resolutions is the part where you actually have to start doing things in order to make a difference. If only life were more simple! Some may call that being lazy (I know if my parents read this they would think that) but, I am always just real bad at picking things that I would like to change about my life/ environment. I have a bad reputation on second guessing myself and making some bad decisions (nothing life threatening, but things that I would have most defiantly done another way). I guess the only way to make an effective list is to thing realistically and rationally. Here is what I have so far. Some of the items on my list have actually been on previous lists before which I (obviously) have not completed. I consider this a 'work in progress; of sorts. I know that some of these things will change as the year actually gets started in the next 25 hours or so.

Ahem. The list. In all its glory**

1. Get accepted to Sac State: This goal I know is somewhat out of my hand. When I went to meet with a counselor back in September, I was 10 units short of the 60 that I need in order to transfer to a CSU or a UC. I took some time talking things over with Paul and worked out a schedule for the 2010 Spring semester to get those last 10 units. I applied in the middle of November and submitted my information (and the no-refundable $55 application fee) to the college and will (hopefully, cross your fingers) will hear back from the college by the beginning of March 2010. This is the big goal for me. My entire happiness and the course of my future is possibly riding on this one decision. I just hope the college says yes.

2. Get a new job: I almost think that this should be the bigger priority then getting in to CSUS, but speaking since if I was still working at the chiropractic office by the time I got accepted to CSUS, I would have quit so I can fully concentrate on pursuing my BA and live off a student loan for a while. I do need a job. I am going crazy spending so much time at home. I think the last time I spent this much time at home was right after I had graduated from high school almost 10 years ago. Thankfully it has only been 1 month and I have found some temp work to help with the bills since stupid unemployment still hasn't kicked in for me (and Paul has been super supportive too). All I want is a part time job right now. I only have some much money in my saving account that I can live off. I worked so hard to save up that $3000 and now I feel like that hard work was all for nothing and I have nothing to show for it. Ugh. I gotta keep sending out those resumes and hope that something comes through.

3. Loose weight: Cliched, yeah. I know that. I admit, I was never a skinny person in my life. I was blessed with a love for food and a big butt c/o my wonderful parents. Perhaps if I can manage to get under the 200lb mark, the weight will just slide right off. And its not like I have a long way to go... I have been stuck at 204ish (give or take) for the past 4 years. I blame my love of food for this one. But I have put up the treadmill in the garage and the bike is in the "den" so I have no excuse. I just need to get my ass in gear. End of story.
   

4. Go on a trip with Paul: I tell you, loosing your job kinda shattered my future goals and dreams. I have actually planned (mentally, but I did plan it) to take Paul to Anaheim, CA (near both of our home towns) in July for the MLB All Star Game at Angels Stadium. The second I heard about where the All Star Game was going to be at in 2010, I knew that's where we were going. I am determined to make this a reality still. I just need to find the funds. The main cost will be lodging, gas to drive down there and the tickets to the events that we end up going to. I think the farthest distance we have been to is San Francisco (Paul took me there for the weekend on our 3rd anniversary and also to see the King Tut exhibit at the de Young Museum) or to Placerville to his Uncle Larry's cabin. We need to get out there while we are still young.
   

5. Build up the savings account (again): See #2. That or I need to sell more things online.
   

6. Be more confident: I need to learn that my life is going to be mine for many years to come. I should learn to love what I have. The more I love my body, the more I know it will reflect out and good things will happen. Its that karma thing. Maybe if I lost a few pounds, this one will become a reality. Plus it will make me happier in the long run.
   

7. Cook at least one meal by myself each week: I am so grateful that Paul is in my life. He loves to cook. I don't know how to. I blame myself for not learning how to. I even took a culinary class in high school too. He makes dinner all the time for us. He says that he doesn't mind and that he really loves to cook but I feel like I need to contribute to this relationship and take a load off his hands sometimes. Plus I know that this will give me some more confidence and I will know how to fend for myself if Paul is gone (cause I can only have so much fast food).
   

8. Read more books: I have so many books in my room and also in the master bedroom. I have lots of art books that I need to get to and also a lot of other books that I have bought on a whim and never had the chance to read. I think my brain will definitely benefit from the exercise. I am actually getting some momentum on this one; I have been reading one of many books by Chuck Klosterman.
   

Lets see how long I can last with this list.

(**In no particular order, mind you)