Sunday, April 20, 2008

I pull the black from the gray///

Good time with Mom & Dad today. I'll write more about it later.

On a totally unrelated note, when I was taking to Miguel yesterday. I don't know what sparked the topic, but it did. I came to the conclusion that I have been with 2 guys in the past that I would have married at some point. I saw that one of my ex-boyfriends was online. He was the first guy I ever dated back when I was only 18 (how young and stupid I once was) and the first guy that made my first things happened with; The first real serious boyfriend, the first long term and long distance relationship, the first "I love you", the first sex... He was something else. And like many things, Amanda & Patrick were simply not meant to be. I also thought about another one: Eddie. Probably the most opposite of any guy Ive met but things happened when I was 21. And with in 4 months, Eddie asked me to marry him and become Mrs. Edward James Radanovich III. Anyways, I went looking through one of my old photo bucket accounts and found a picture of me with the engagement ring that Eddie gave me. I wonder what I would have become if I did end up marring him back 2005/2006? I think the thought of what could have been hurt me a little bit only because I was treated like nothing... Like I was less then a person. Stupid jerks. I did get a pretty ring tho. I gave it back after Eddie told me he cheated on me. At least a boy bought me something sparkly and shiny tho.

I think I am more mad that I thought about how stupid these guys were then anything else in the world.

Fuck. Time for sleep. The assholes upstairs are at it again. More about that later. Its a whole new can of fucking worms now.